In the chaos of early 2015, two new reviews of Why Wait for Failure? went up. I wouldn’t normally post these, but since they’re very nice and since they came out on adjacent days… why not? It’s not every day you get an album described as “one of the most unique records of 2014″!
Here’s something you don’t see from me much any more – a blog post about a current event, unfolding as I type. This is the story: an ‘expert’ on Fox News has described Birmingham as a place “where non-Muslims just simply don’t go in”. He revealed a general ignorance about Islam in the UK and is now the subject of a worldwide joke. Twitter’s ridicule arrived swiftly and is ongoing; the #FoxNewsFacts hashtag is delighting people on both sides of the Atlantic.
It’s unusual to see Birmingham’s name on any news sites, let alone in the trending topics. I grew up here, and I live and work here, and if you’ve met me for even five seconds you probably know that my love for this stupid city is deep and abiding and perhaps jarringly sincere. It does not need me to say that Steven Emerson’s comments were preposterously ill-informed. I also think we should stop laughing at him straight away.
There are two reasons. The first is non-Birmingham-specific: the guy apologised. Moreover, he did so immediately, at length, without reservation, avoiding blaming others, and with a humility that I gauge to be sincere. I imagine opinion varies as to the degree of cynicism underlying this apology, but I suggest that on our side the moral high ground is cheaply won here. We all fare better in a world where people acknowledge honestly and are forgiven generously for their errors.
Such benevolence on our part might even, more than any degree of mockery, encourage Emerson to think twice about some of the other assumptions which his ‘expertise’ has led him into – but staying fixed on the Birmingham issue, I have to say I’m not optimistic. That’s because I’ve had some pretty remarkable conversations about this city with people who’ve never done more than pass through on the train, and I can tell you that in misrepresenting this city based on extremely scant evidence, Emerson is not alone.
This is my second point. Emerson is just an extreme, publicly visible, and current-event-inflected example of something which happens on a day-to-day basis in this country: the maligning of Birmingham. Those enjoying his shame owe it to us to ask themselves if they’ve ever had a laugh at this city’s expense – a laugh based, perhaps, on word of mouth rather than actually, say, visiting. It’s something I’ve become so used to that my main reaction to it these days is not derision or anger but boredom. In a way, Emerson is tonight what Birmingham has been my entire life: an open goal, the butt of an easy joke. There is no honour, no wit, no dignity in a cheap shot at either of them.
It is the time of my insane sale. EVERYTHING MUST GO, WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE IT IS DIGITAL MUSIC AND THERE ARE THEORETICALLY INFINITE COPIES.
For the next few days, there are hefty discounts on pretty much everything in the FaceOmeter shop. They are itemised below:
Why Wait for Failure: CD £8 (normally £12), Digital £6 (normally £8)
Last Days in the Capital: Digital £1 (normally £2)
The Spooky EP: CD £4 (normally £6), Digital £2 (normally £4)
To Infinitives Split: CD £6 (normally £8), Digital £5 (normally £6)
Campfire Songs: Digital £2 (normally £3)
THE ART PRINTS I CANNOT REDUCE FROM £5 BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO GOOD
THE SALE COULD END AT ANY MOMENT BASED ON MY SAVAGE WHIMS AND/OR WHEN A SMALL CHILD DOESN’T NEED THE COMPUTER TO WATCH EQUESTRIA GIRLS, SO MAKE THIS THE MOMENT THAT YOU SPEND £$£!
We’re down to the wire here. 11:10 on the last night of 2014 as I sit down to type my customary end-of-year blog thing. I’m on a borrowed MacBook and I’m late because I found a DVD of the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (the 1980s BBC one obviously heathens, look at this realistic dragon) in the Edwardian Reading Room I find myself in in the wilds of North Yorkshire. Hoar frost nibbles at the windows, an AGA burns inside, the last of the Christmas walnuts remain to be cracked in front of me, and the previous tenantry left a nearly full box of Earl Grey in the cupboards. And so ends the year.
I cannot do my usual list – not exactly. 2014 was different. Don’t think that things didn’t keep going on, that there wasn’t a narrowboat cat and a coven at a bonfire and a five-person wedding moshpit at a leisure centre in Portsmouth and amphitheatre films and teddybear picnics and continental canals and Welsh meercats and festival honeybees and Neutral Milk Hotel and fifties American diners that do kebabs and Frankenstein cupcakes and SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON. But 2014 will always be a year dominated by what is frequently (and wrongly) called ‘big stuff’ or ‘life stuff’. Jobs. Cars. Weddings. Visas. Children. Rabbits. None of it is suitable subject matter for this blog, but all of it has happened this year, and it’s been crazy and it’s been weird and it’s been so, so hard and I am so, so tired, and I am delighted with how it’s gone and determined never to have another year like it. I put out an album which I recorded and released while everything was going on, and that was difficult too but I’m really happy with it. And I worried that I lost my creature impulses a bit in the midst of it all, but in the last few weeks I’ve put a new song together and I’m delighted to inform you that FaceOmeter has a present and a future as well as a past.
It will never be quite the same, but I think I’m holding onto the things that matter. I have not forgotten – and I won’t forget – that ‘life stuff’ does not equal ‘life’. There are exciting things lined up for 2015, which will be a very different kind of fish if my suspicions are confirmed: less intense, more productive. And with more gigs! Those are my three resolutions.
So, without further ado: farewell, 2014. You have been insane. I am short of breath, but still on my feet, and I am so so so much luckier than so many people, and it’s time for the next chapter.
I put this record out at the start of November – most of you know that. It took four years to write and another ten months to crowdfund, record, produce, and release. There are fourteen tracks, some highly orchestrated, some extremely collaborative, others quite pared down, acoustic, singer-songwritery. The thing is for sale on bandcamp both as a physical CD (with beautiful Freya Hartas artwork) and as a digital download. It has been selling okay, and my bandcamp plays are the highest they’ve ever been. I’ve also got t-shirts, badges, and limited edition art prints peopling my merch desk these days.
I just conducted a brief and unnerving science experiment and listened to a song from it, the title track ‘Why Wait?’. It’s my first listen in a while – one of the weird things about making a record is that you listen to it thousands of times before it comes out and barely at all after – and I remain pretty darn happy with it. I like that you can draw a straight line from my earliest work on The Garrag Sessions (2005) to this song: it has so many of the same features, like the mood and the tonality and the slightly farbled bassline, but is also tighter, classier, more polished. It’s got a lot cleverer and it’s stayed exactly as stupid. I’m happy.
The launch shows went well in very different ways. The Oxford one was a really cosy atmosphere, interrupted by a loud coffee machine occasionally but special because it was the place where we’d recorded the choir parts of the album. I was hugely, hugely ill and didn’t enjoy it at all, but surviving the night felt like a modest achievement. The London one was a very different kind of caper – installed in someone’s house in Bethnal Green (a very strange and wonderful space with lots of nice books on the walls) it was both more intimate and more carefree. I had a superb time.
There’s a temptation to overanalyse this stuff. See my previous post if you don’t believe me. It’s understandable: you spend so long thinking about this, so long steeping in your own reactions to things, and it would be silly to regret being thoughtful about my stuff. My music is powered by that. But periodically, it also makes sense to sit back and say once again: I wrote some songs, I met wicked people, we played together, we had fun, we went home. And we’ll do it again.
The record is here, if you want to listen to it.
I’m listening to two records over and over again at the moment: Two White Cranes’s twowhitecranes and The Magic Lantern’s Love of Too Much Living. They’re both beautiful and gripping and mature works, they’re both notable for how well-crafted they are, and they’re both written by two people I know pretty well. I don’t say that last part in order to drop names (I HAVE SLEPT ON MC LARS‘S COUCH, AFTER ALL), so much as to point out that one of the principle pleasures of making music is the amazing people it puts you into contact with, and the perspectives you gain on art by watching your peers develop and grow.
I’m not aware that Roxanne (Two White Cranes) and Jamie (The Magic Lantern) compared any notes before or during the album-making process, but it seems to me that there’s another similarity between the two pieces of work: they’re both written over and about a period of considerable personal change which seems to have deeply inflected their underlying tone. “We are each of us in a process of becoming”, Jamie writes in his liner notes, “with all that that entails however painful or uncertain”. “Lots of things happened and these songs came out and I don’t feel like the same person any more”, writes Roxanne in one of a series of moving and provocative blog posts on the subject of her new record. There’s something so scary about those last few words of hers. Both of these songwriters seem to have hit a moment – we are all three of us approximately the same age – at which they are confronting reformulations and divergences within both themselves and their social and artistic communities. Jamie talks a little bit about this in a charming film about his record which came out yesterday; Roxanne writes about the distance she feels from her own happiness at the fact she has an audience.
Reading these documents – Roxanne’s in particular – and listening to these two records has been causing me some gentle anxiety over the past few weeks. Much of it is to do with the fact that my own album, which is finally coming out in just over a week, does not seem, to me at least, to have partaken of this mood. It would not be unreasonable if it had: my life has changed enormously in the ten months since I started making it, and now includes a house, a steady job, a family, a bunny, and a car where previously it was largely about my Dad’s spare bedroom, some friends’ sofas, and part-time temporary work with no echo of long-term security. These changes have brought with them an alteration in the time I can reasonably spend doing ‘music stuff’, which feels more like a dreaded ‘hobby’ than it ever has done before. Although I hope I’m in a temporary blip, exacerbated by the newness of the job and some family illness I’ve been dealing with, the fact remains that I’ve scarely touched my guitar in months. I haven’t the energy to organise gigs or send out publicity material – at the very moment where for the first time in years I have a new record (one I’m genuinely proud of) to promote. Even writing blog posts represents an investment away from my other commitments that I may come to regret. It is very, very hard to deal with this when one’s identity as a person is constructed around an assumed inherence – around the belief, which I cling to with all the rigidity of the truly uncertain, that I will always make music whatever else, always play it with my friends and try to get it to people who want to listen. That it is part of who I am that I do this thing.
It is very important to me that it does not become part of ‘growing up’ that I put down my guitar, that songwriting stops being useful to me as a conduit for thoughts and experiences. At the same time, I have to admit that it is by no means a given that I will always write; indeed, if it were, some of the meaning of what I do would be subtracted from it. There is no incentive to go through the heartache, the administrative nightmare, the insecurities, and the frustrations of being a songwriter unless you have a genuine love for it – or rather, there is one incentive: obligation. Is it right to force myself to keep writing if everything else in my life seems to be pushing the other way? Would such a struggle be an appropriate cerebral response to the perils of normalcy eating away at me as I enter my thirties? Or would it be a time- (and money-) consuming struggle against the inevitable, a ill-judged attempt to become what would amount from the outside, if not from within, to being the Dad with a t-shirt on desperately playing his half-baked song ideas to an open mic full of twenty year-olds?
These anxieties are particular to me, and have little to do, I suspect, with those of Jamie or Roxanne. But each of those two has confronted the recent (and different) changes in their own life by stepping up and incorporating it into their musical project. I can’t help but notice that I haven’t.
I’m conscious that in writing this, I’m taking a very different tack to Roxanne, who is almost (from my point of view) distressingly cavalier about her work both in her writing about her music and in the decisions she makes about what to do with it. twowhitecranes was released internet-only with no warning on a pay-what-you-like basis, a gesture that could easily be read as indifference to the work, or to the audience, or to money, or to recognition, or to all of the above. Her shows are advertised on facebook in a register which almost dares you not to come. It’s an attitude which contrasts starkly and, I think, pointedly, with my ten-month blog-o-journey to make a new album, a journey in which I forcibly involved nearly all of my friends. My feeling is that Roxanne has always been nervous of such affairs, but it’s interesting to see her positioning herself this way relative to twowhitecranes in particular, since – for me, at least – it offers the most authentic reflection yet of how she really is as a person. Despite a declared lack of confidence in herself and in the material, this is an album that sees her voice, her musicianship, and her lyrics working (and working together) with an assurance I haven’t seen from her before. It’s an assurance that pushes strongly against the self-effacement with which she distributes and promotes her material. In one of her posts, she calls the whole act of songwriting “both an incredibly meaningful experience and just complete and utter nonsense”, a phrase which in my view explicates both the attention she’s paid to making the album and the guilt that she seems to feel should accompany making that attention public.
Jamie doesn’t have this problem. He’s on a very different path – an exhausting and, I suspect, occasionally upsetting one which has nevertheless seen him garner considerable national attention including plays on Lauren Laverne and a recent review in the Guardian. Those who know Jamie know that he has worked hard for this recognition; those who listen to the album will realise how deserved it is. Pared down significantly from the previous live-jazz-band setup, this is (for the most part) just Jamie and an acoustic guitar, and the immediacy of his performances are the source of its rich emotional potential (and testimony to the skill of Dean McCarthy, our mutual sound engineer). Playing a song well by yourself, on an acoustic guitar, to one other person – a sincere song, one you Mean – requires extraordinary reserves of both courage and self-doubt, and these two aspects of Jamie are in productive conversation throughout the album. The whole thing turns around the fifth track, which Jamie wrote when he was twenty-four, and which changes every year to reflect his current age (on the album, therefore, the song is called ’28 Years Old’). This is an a cappella tune – even more confident; even more fragile – but Jamie’s great risk is that he changes no other lyrics year on year. The updated number in the title is the only difference. It strikes me that this was a shrewd scheme from 24-year-old Jamie, because it presses us up against the fact that songs change year-on-year even if the words don’t, precisely because we move around them, because they settle on us in different ways. ’28 Years Old’ is a kind of homage to Borges’s Pierre Menard in that sense: the lyric “I’ve grown since I’ve left home / In some ways worse, some better” means something really different at 24 and 28, and will be different again at 33. But I wonder what Jamie will do if he finds that he no longer means the words in this song. Will he change them, or stop singing?
Somewhere between Jamie’s measured, cerebral, realistic and yet imaginative apprehension of his situation and Roxanne’s febrile, delicate, loudly unobtrusive painting of hers, there’s my uncertainty about FaceOmeter. It’s not that I don’t think Why Wait for Failure? represents me well, or even that I think it should have to – the songs on this album mean a lot to me, and I’m proud of them. I still feel like the person who wrote them. But I worry about how hard it will be to keep writing stuff like this after this album comes out. I can imagine not minding stopping one day, and the thought terrifies me.
Pressing upon all of this is a question of audience – another question which both Roxanne and Jamie have framed in their different ways. Who should listen to my stuff? Why should anyone care? The difficulties I’ve encountered selling tickets to my launch shows and my own allergy to sending out publicity material, combined with a spreading and thinning of the artistic communities I’ve depended on for the last decade, might by themselves be enough to stop me from writing – it’s not enough to write only for my own amusement, but it is a lot to ask of anyone else to sit and listen to my nonsense. It’s been at least a year since I actually spoke to Roxanne, and that’s a thought that makes me all kinds of sad. But whatever happens next, I’m taking a stand on this one thing: that right now, the three of us have released these different, similar records. They’re evidence of work and thought and love and pain. They weren’t written to be listened to together, but you can listen to them together, and the conversation isn’t without uniqueness. Right now, this second, I am a part of something, though I feel it slipping through my fingers as I say it.
Last weekend I went to see the Magic Lantern launch his new album. It was a solemn and moving occasion, full of good vibes and lovely people. The experience made me wish that I could be like Jamie, and have a big release party for an album that I just recorded with Dean McCarthy.
HOW CONVENIENT. I do in fact have such an album primed for release, and it’s time to celebrate!
Art by the delicious Freya Hartas of course
The two big shows will be in Oxford (Sunday, Nov 2nd) and London (Thursday, Nov 6th). Here’s the wrinkle: we’re setting these shows up through Tigmus, a cool artist-run music promoter that does everything through pre-sales. This means that we need to sell a certain (low) number of (cheap) tickets ahead of the shows, or they won’t happen.
Details of each show are below, but I just wanted to urge you to do everything you can to make these shows as awesome as possible: come if you can, share if you can’t, and let’s have a couple of really, really special nights.
Making this record has been an intense privilege, and I really want to celebrate with as many of you as possible. Please get tickets now and come along!
OXFORD – SUNDAY, NOV 2nd
Our venue for this is the Jam Factory, which some of you will remember as the atmospheric space where we recorded the choir tracks for the album! This time, though, we’ll be upstairs. There will be a piano with Mr. Sam Taplin playing upon it, Ditte Elly will be there with some of her tunes, and The Magic Lantern will be dropping in to pay his respects. Tickets are a measly £4. To buy them, go to http://tigmus.com/, click on the tile which says ‘FaceOmeter – Oxford Nov 2nd’, type in the number of tickets you want, and hit the giant T to check out with paypal. Simple! Please do it in the next 48 hours or the show won’t happen!
LONDON – THURSDAY, NOV 6th
In London, I’m hoping to stop by the Stour Space in order to have good times with a posse of the usual suspects. It’s a miraculous venue in Hackney Wick, which you can see more about here. Guest acts are not all confirmed yet, but I can tell you that the Magic Lantern (whose own album launched last week) is never far away where I am concerned! Tickets are a measly £4. To buy them, go to http://tigmus.com/, click on the tile which says ‘FaceOmeter – TBC, London’, type in the number of tickets you want, and hit the giant T to check out with paypal. Simple!
At somewhat late notice, I’m delighted to announce a short season of shows taking place in London this weekend – and beyond.
Saturday, Oct 4th
My longstanding friend and ally Jamie, who makes music as the Magic Lantern, has a new album out. I’ve had a sneaky preview copy in my car for a few weeks, and it’s a real stunner. Jamie’s politely asked me to play a few songs to open the proceedings at St. Mark’s Church, Culverston Crescent, Dalston at 8pm this Saturday. This will be a cracker, and if you’re in the capital you don’t want to miss it.
Sunday, Oct 5th
I’m making a swift one-off return to the Railroad in order to settle unfinished business with Yo Zushi. It’s their last barbeque of the summer, and it’ll be my last show before the release of my own album! Speaking of which -
Album Release Shows: Nov 2nd+
You can buy tickets RIGHT NOW for my album release shows in London and Oxford, which are to be found through This Is Good Music. In fact, you have to buy them now: these gigs work only on advance sales and won’t take place if there isn’t sufficient interest. So do book now! More shows for that week will be announced soon!
I wanted to tell you about the new shirts I have ON SALE AT THIS LINK, but as it transpires, this video does all the talking!
(because I made it)
Today was another small but important milestone in delivering the album into your loving hands – the arrival of a sofafull of Freya Hartas artwork!
Brilliant as it looks on screen, this stuff is even more awesome in real life. It was great to see it in the flesh for the first time! Freya’s worked super hard and some of this original artwork will be going out to people who backed the project as part of the rewards. They’ll look great on your wall! Freya’s also made some beautiful A5 and A4 prints of the art which a lot more of you will be enjoying very soon…
Getting Freya on board for this project was the first time I was certain it was definitely going to happen, and she’s been incredible to work with the whole way through. Hopefully, the box full of the actual records is not too far behind this one, so stay tuned!