The Elephant in the Room

This is a song I finished lately. It’s about living with an elephant. Don’t think this is an elaborate metaphor for anything! It’s about actually living with an actual elephant. I’m in Robert Frost country here; metaphors are banned.

Before you left,
The times we had!
Two very different bodies
With the same crockery.
In the same warm and immense
Companianable silence –
All our thoughts unexpressed.
There’s no problem with that.

You’d pour the tea –
Your special knack.
A little crackle from the fire
All our hearts could desire.No need for conversation,
Warmed by our conflagration –
Quiet cameraderie,
From which nothing detracts.

I should have guessed,
I should have guessed I never could know
What’s going on,
What’s going on behind those bright eyes –
How much espoused in their discretely curving brows
Was only my surmise?

I had a dream
That you came back –
Settled into your sofa
Crumpets stuck in the toaster.
And the evenings got longer,
Leaves turned russet round songbirds,
And we sat on serene;
It’s a matter of tact.

I couldn’t say,
I couldn’t say without you starting
What’s going on,
What’s going on when creatures share lives –Assumed one scene could hold the hopes of different beings
Regardless of their size.

I should have guessed,
I should have guessed I never could know
What’s going on,
What’s going on behind those bright eyes –
How much espoused in their discretely curving brows
Was only my surmise?


The Hatstand night is developing apace. I just put up this short film, in which I test metaphor to its limits by building an actual hatstand as a promotional exercise.

If you’re in or near Birmingham I’d love to see you at our opening night on December 7th! More details on this post below.

What else has been going on? Well, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the company of this insane beast:

2015-10-20 00.28.15There is a small prize for guessing the species.

I’ve just finished a new song called ‘The Elephant in the Room’. It’s about the experience of living with an elephant. So I suppose “living with different animals” has been the theme of recent weeks. But I’ve been having other experiences, too – I’ve been seen at a few Catweazles recently, popped over to see a teen pop sensation thriving at an open mic in Edgbaston, and I got my hands on a first edition of The Hunting of the Snark today. Slow and steady wins the race!

Of Hatstands

The project I’ve been working on for a few weeks is slowly coming to fruition, and I’d like to introduce the world to Hatstand.

hatstand color try2There have been two great influences in my life: the Catweazle Club and the city of Birmingham. I bore the socks off everyone I meet singing the praises of these things, but there’s a problem: Catweazle isn’t in Birmingham. Sick of racking up miles on the M40, I’ve decided to start a performance arts night with similar values three minutes’ walk from my front door, blending my two core interests.

Catweazle has taught me so much, and regulars will anticipate the main features: unamplified, no advance booking, performers enter for free. But Hatstand is not simply a duplication of the Catweazle formula, for this city is unique and requires individual treatment. We’re going to have a pop-up art gallery for visual artists with prints to sell. We’re going to have two intervals instead of one (edgy). We’re going to be based in a garden centre intead of a community centre (super edgy). We are going, I very much hope, to have an actual hatstand (I just lost consciousness).

This is the second night I’ve set up, and I know what the big challenges are. We need a good mix of music and spoken word; a strong communuity of regulars as well as high visibility for passing traffic; and we need an amazing audience who delight in and respect a huge range of talent. Most troublesomely of all, we need all that quickly – nights like this thrive or fail in the first year, and a monthly show only has twelve chances to get it right.

I hope you can be part of those attempts! Whether you’re a Brummie or at a distance, if you find yourself free on the first Monday of the month, starting this December, we need you. We had a trial run this Sunday at the Moseley Folk Festival, which went down a treat – we got Bohdan Piasecki down, Katherine Priddy was there, James Bell came all the way from Oxford to inaugurate, and there were loads besides! We camped out in the old tennis hut while the bassbins of the big stage outside boomed away and we performed songs and poetry for each other – it felt like the start of something new, but also timeless and comfortable, like coming home at the end of a long night.

Perhaps I’m overdoing this. My point is, we’re ten minutes old and we’ve already done a stage at Moseley Folk. We mean business! You’ll hear me yammering away about this loads over the next few months, but don’t wait for that – get your diary out now. Nights like this are the audience, nothing else. We need you. 7th December 2015. 8pm.

Check out the website! It has parallax scrolling so I look modern and cool and I used the guys who are always advertising on This American Life which by the transit of properties means that Ira Glass will personally attend every single Hatstand evening

Recent Events

Dear all, I have for too long neglected this here account of my travels through adventureland. You needn’t think that this is because I’ve been idling, though – I’ve had some mad fun lately and I’m here with you for some edited highlights:

I opened for Thomas Truax in Oxford, which was a real delight. He is a gent of the old school and a fierce mind withal. I suffered a couple of cancellations after that, but I did a few Catweazles to keep me going and I surfaced last Friday on the Catweazle stage at Tandem festival (an indoor book-forest barn stage in the Oxfordshire countryside), where I debuted a new song I’ve got guest-starring Rosie Caldecott. Very excited to play that, especially as Ditte Elly was also there – we sang ‘Child of Monkey Horse!’ together which always makes me feel privileged and special.

2015-06-20 00.18.01It occurs to me to tantalise you with a few song titles. ‘More Like Spring’s Heath’. ‘Big Duck On Campus’. ‘Sad Songs for Happy Occassions’. ‘Several People Whom I Have Known Called Matt’. ‘The One-Part Prelude’. ‘Hippo Calypso’. There are the new generation of tunes I’ve been working on since Why Wait came out last year – some are finished, some are only nearly finished. More are on the way. They’re slow but they’re coming. Stay tuned.

At Tandem I saw lots more of my special friends including two thirds of Robot Swans, M Sage himself, and the inimitable Patti Dale. Then I buzzed off to a school in Somerset to award some poetry prizes and have an individual in a black morph suit with a harlequin mask dance around me with a small rubber duck. Another day at the FaceOmeter office.

There’s been much else besides! I’ve seen Jurassic World and seen loads of awesome people pick up degree results, and I’ve watched a lot of Gilmore Girls. There is the vague sense of an upswing in all of this. It could be deceptive, but things feel pretty good right now in a gentle sort of way. I’m glad you’re all still reading!

Incoming Shows

Dearest friends, I have three wild gigs coming up which I’d like you to take note of..!

Oxford – The Cellar – May 2nd
This is a show supporting Thomas Truax, and it looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun! It’s likely to sell out so you may want to grab tickets in advance!

Brighton – St Peter’s Church – May 6th
I’m turning up at this well-located and atmospheric establishment to show the South Coast what I’ve got! Doors at 7:30!

Birmingham – Glee Club – May 16th
I’m appearing at the first ever show in a new space run by the Glee Club. This’ll be an afternoon show, running from 2-6pm. I’ll let you have more details when I know them!

I was in the studio with Dean McCarthy today to record a little something for the Magic Lantern. He captured this dramatic picture of his new record-o-box, also featuring my feet.

CDWnnapXIAEyT3iPlayed the Catweazle Club last night and got a third song (a great honour) for only the second time ever – the set was ‘Hippo Calypso’ (that’s a new one), ‘Unwillingness to Dance‘, and ‘A Strange Visitor‘. I’m also in the latest issue of Catweazle Magazine with a new column about stupid games! In print or live, Catweazle is one of my favourie places to be – it’s been a treat!

The Newcastle Statement

Those who think that writing music is pretentious are right, of course: at least at the level of the indie singer-songwriter, we show off in front of crowds because it suits us. The crowds are often small, and the applause is sometimes unwarranted. We play because we believe that someone else will like it, and there’s an arrogance in there that simply can’t be avoided. There’s something else too, though: that music is the crowd as well as the artist, is the Ritz-trained baker who gave me free dessert, is the stranger who dropped a decent sum of money on a t-shirt of mine for reasons which remain obscure, is the young couple on the sofa who laughed right through my set and meant it, is the older couple at the back who’d never been to a show like this before but said they’d come again.

This is the usual line with which we justify ourselves, but the truth is that we can go so much further – what ever it is, it’s also the tiny café where we did the show, and the two guys whose homemade pizzas made the venue smell amazing and whose hand-decorating made it look warm and welcoming. It’s the taxi to the venue, as well – the driver trying to enter the postcode of the place into his satnav whilst negotiating vomiting Geordies, the slight sense of panic, of being late, of not having a clue where you are, and then of seeing a waving stranger step out of a building you’ve never seen before and knowing, just like that, this is me, I’m here, I’m home, it’s fine now. It’s the train to that taxi, the hour’s delay in the overcast midlands, the overpriced cup of tea which breaks things up at York, the Northern scenery through new headphones. It’s the party after the show, too: always an unpredictable affair but in this case a gentle exchange of vice versas and most-hated tracks taking place in wood-floored flat in Jesmond where people you’ve only met fleetingly before hand you lemon curd cocktails and complement you on your socks. It’s the cocktails themselves. And it’s midnight Müller corners in a window burnt by reflected sunlight, it’s homemade hash browns the next morning, and it’s a sewing room and notes on Pokémon and the theme tune from Wolf Hall and a discussion about the function of craft in the age of mass reproduction. And it’s that walk – one a.m. in a strange city, biting wind, a dangerous bridge, clear skies, bright stars, scary parks, winding roads, the feeling of being shown a place by someone who cares about it. Perhaps more than any of this, it’s the moment when the train home pulls away and you put on some music that’s totally appropriate for the occasion and think the person I just left made this – it didn’t exist before, and then they came along and now I’m here.

I’m not there without them. Without music, not a word of the above – not for me, at least. Every thought of it impossible. Now multiply this list of my own particular experiences, some of which probably don’t say that much to you, by the number of people who were in the crowd last night. What an unthinkable spread of thoughts and actions to have kaleidoscoped together in one room! What an incredible privilege to be the focal point of that vitality for a few minutes, to get some sense of its size and complexity before the kaleidoscope turns and we all roll away again. It’s not that I think my own music – the stuff I write, the stuff I’m playing – directly causes more than a superficial fraction of the adventures which have briefly huddled together in that place. But if I pick up the guitar in tribute to that, if I can reflect some of that energy back to the people who have brought it along, who have made stuff and done stuff and ended up here too, then surely it isn’t just my own conceitedness that makes me do it?

Of course it’s self-indulgent, but it indulges in everyone else as well. It’s brought me friends, and food, and memories, and adventures, and I believe that I am not the only one. It is not the best way to live, or the only way to live, but until further notice, and speaking, now, with some experience, it continues to work for me.

I wrote this on the train on the way there:

It’s just running up to Leeds that the excitement finally kicks in. Three hours on a train, one stationary in a grey field south of Burton-upon-Trent, the other two spent dozing between the pages of a textbook on metaphor, failed to set a mood. The expensive rail fare, the hours travelling – why do I do this? Ever harder to set up shows, to make time to play them. But I’ve always needed reminders (perhaps the reminders themselves are the reason?) and outside Leeds the latest one arrives: twilight replacing the grey, the train’s atmosphere moving from stifled to cosy, my faithful guitar in its battered case perched indecorously in the overhead. The reminder is a physical reaction to some combination of these, or none of them, a tightness of breath behind the sternum, anticipation mixed with uncertainty. Once again, and for the first time in a while, I do not know where I’ll be in two hours, physically or spiritually. But this isn’t a quest for the arbitrary, a wanton desire to full up on new experiences of any kind, whatever the cost: I don’t know where I’ll be, but I know what I’ll be doing. And to remember the what, in this moment, is also to know the why.

At Leeds itself I stand in the doorway and take a breath of fresh Northern air mixed with lashings of Yorkshire rain. The lights of the town burn brighter as the train begins to accelerate away from them – the woman in the seat in front of me plays solitaire on her phone, the large train manager pushes a trolley service of drinks and light refreshments up and down the aisle. Life is a fabulous adventure.

Recent Reviews

In the chaos of early 2015, two new reviews of Why Wait for Failure? went up. I wouldn’t normally post these, but since they’re very nice and since they came out on adjacent days… why not? It’s not every day you get an album described as “one of the most unique records of 2014”!

Here’s one at Folk Radio UK. And another at Monolith Cocktail.

In Which I Suggest Going Easy On Fox News?

Here’s something you don’t see from me much any more – a blog post about a current event, unfolding as I type. This is the story: an ‘expert’ on Fox News has described Birmingham as a place “where non-Muslims just simply don’t go in”. He revealed a general ignorance about Islam in the UK and is now the subject of a worldwide joke. Twitter’s ridicule arrived swiftly and is ongoing; the #FoxNewsFacts hashtag is delighting people on both sides of the Atlantic.

images.duckduckgo.comIt’s unusual to see Birmingham’s name on any news sites, let alone in the trending topics. I grew up here, and I live and work here, and if you’ve met me for even five seconds you probably know that my love for this stupid city is deep and abiding and perhaps jarringly sincere. It does not need me to say that Steven Emerson’s comments were preposterously ill-informed. I also think we should stop laughing at him straight away.

There are two reasons. The first is non-Birmingham-specific: the guy apologised. Moreover, he did so immediately, at length, without reservation, avoiding blaming others, and with a humility that I gauge to be sincere. I imagine opinion varies as to the degree of cynicism underlying this apology, but I suggest that on our side the moral high ground is cheaply won here. We all fare better in a world where people acknowledge honestly and are forgiven generously for their errors.

Such benevolence on our part might even, more than any degree of mockery, encourage Emerson to think twice about some of the other assumptions which his ‘expertise’ has led him into – but staying fixed on the Birmingham issue, I have to say I’m not optimistic. That’s because I’ve had some pretty remarkable conversations about this city with people who’ve never done more than pass through on the train, and I can tell you that in misrepresenting this city based on extremely scant evidence, Emerson is not alone.

This is my second point. Emerson is just an extreme, publicly visible, and current-event-inflected example of something which happens on a day-to-day basis in this country: the maligning of Birmingham. Those enjoying his shame owe it to us to ask themselves if they’ve ever had a laugh at this city’s expense – a laugh based, perhaps, on word of mouth rather than actually, say, visiting. It’s something I’ve become so used to that my main reaction to it these days is not derision or anger but boredom. In a way, Emerson is tonight what Birmingham has been my entire life: an open goal, the butt of an easy joke. There is no honour, no wit, no dignity in a cheap shot at either of them.

Insane Sale


For the next few days, there are hefty discounts on pretty much everything in the FaceOmeter shop. They are itemised below:

Why Wait for Failure: CD £8 (normally £12), Digital £6 (normally £8)
Last Days in the Capital: Digital £1 (normally £2)
The Spooky EP: CD £4 (normally £6), Digital £2 (normally £4)
To Infinitives Split: CD £6 (normally £8), Digital £5 (normally £6)
Campfire Songs: Digital £2 (normally £3)

T-shirts £17 (normally £19)
Buttons £3/pair (normally £4)



So Very Long 2014

We’re down to the wire here. 11:10 on the last night of 2014 as I sit down to type my customary end-of-year blog thing. I’m on a borrowed MacBook and I’m late because I found a DVD of the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (the 1980s BBC one obviously heathens, look at this realistic dragon) in the Edwardian Reading Room I find myself in in the wilds of North Yorkshire. Hoar frost nibbles at the windows, an AGA burns inside, the last of the Christmas walnuts remain to be cracked in front of me, and the previous tenantry left a nearly full box of Earl Grey in the cupboards. And so ends the year.

I cannot do my usual list – not exactly. 2014 was different. Don’t think that things didn’t keep going on, that there wasn’t a narrowboat cat and a coven at a bonfire and a five-person wedding moshpit at a leisure centre in Portsmouth and amphitheatre films and teddybear picnics and continental canals and Welsh meercats and festival honeybees and Neutral Milk Hotel and fifties American diners that do kebabs and Frankenstein cupcakes and SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON. But 2014 will always be a year dominated by what is frequently (and wrongly) called ‘big stuff’ or ‘life stuff’. Jobs. Cars. Weddings. Visas. Children. Rabbits. None of it is suitable subject matter for this blog, but all of it has happened this year, and it’s been crazy and it’s been weird and it’s been so, so hard and I am so, so tired, and I am delighted with how it’s gone and determined never to have another year like it. I put out an album which I recorded and released while everything was going on, and that was difficult too but I’m really happy with it. And I worried that I lost my creature impulses a bit in the midst of it all, but in the last few weeks I’ve put a new song together and I’m delighted to inform you that FaceOmeter has a present and a future as well as a past.

It will never be quite the same, but I think I’m holding onto the things that matter. I have not forgotten – and I won’t forget – that ‘life stuff’ does not equal ‘life’. There are exciting things lined up for 2015, which will be a very different kind of fish if my suspicions are confirmed: less intense, more productive. And with more gigs! Those are my three resolutions.

So, without further ado: farewell, 2014. You have been insane. I am short of breath, but still on my feet, and I am so so so much luckier than so many people, and it’s time for the next chapter.