Monthly Archives: December 2005

Ape-filthing Masssive-Bastarding Old-style stompdown

Apologies if this is slightly incohesive. I haven’t slept for around 26 hours and Max and I were sessioning the new effort (lyrics posted earlier) all last night, with interesting results. Now we take you BEHIND THE SCENES of the latest FaceOmeter/The Jones Epic! That’s right; be there, be part of the action, live every second! We had to, and we don’t see why you shouldn’t.

Times are approximate
10:30PM Will arranges to pick up Max
11:15PM Will actually arrives, having been delayed by kind father packing supplies of tea, mince pies, milk, beer, etc.
11:25PM Road trip to office interrupted in futile effort to get cigarettes from petrol station. An hour before midnight. On boxing day.
11:30PM Further diversion sees car skidding around jewellery quarter; all tobacconists have shutters firmly down.
11:32PM Hasty unloading of stuff outside the office; suspicious drunken characters coming towards building. Must get everything inside and lock the door before they get close enough to see we went to a public school. It’s a bit like a computer game?
11:40PM The Jones engages lighting, central heating. Will hides in dark; ambushes Jones. Hilarity reigns.
11:45PM The setting up and tuning up of gear: two acoustics, an electric, a banjo, drums, piano, and most importantly, kettle. Max fashions table for foods and drinks out of broken amp cover balanced on amp. General satisfaction.

I know all about Karma, but this is ridiculous…

So three days since the new hard drives arrived, I have the ubermachine up and running again. I’ve lost all my data, but at least I can forge on with new stuff; new and exciting, oh yes…

Oh no…

DVD drive’s broken. The third hardware failure in as many weeks. This isn’t funny..?

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Merry Christmas Yo’

Currently on BBC1: The Carols

Currently on ITV3: The Carols from a slightly different angle

Currently on BBC2: Kylie Minogue dancing with men wearing red plastic on their faces and thongs whilst wearing a small top with “booty camp” written on it.

I’m not sure what this all says about our society, but it feels horribly comprehensive somehow.

(for the record, Channel 4 just has some shit old film on)

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I know what you’re asking! I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE MAIL, AND DOOM MOVIES?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH FACEOMETER?! That’s what you’re asking*

Well I’m here to tell you

The previously announced (and as-yet-untitled) record potentially containing “Leaf Fall Timetable”, “Third Single” and other similar tracks has been put on hold following the loss of the sacred hard drive. These tracks will be re-recorded and this CD will make an appearance hopefully sometime in the first half of 2006.

Meanwhile, an array of new

Did you hear that, Bob?

After a number of recent posts that rank as almost criminally serious, it’s time for this blog to get back to its grass roots. COMPUTER GAMES. Without these, my life has been grim and shallow… I’ve done things like tidied my room and talked to other humans using my mouth and face. But that’s all changed today thankfully, as I joined Parkes to complete the whole of Fahrenheit in one setting (with a judicious midway break for Dinner and an Episode of TNG).

I don’t often offer unilateral praise on a game, but Farenheit (Indigo Prophecy in the states) is an amazing effort, a true spiritual successor to the point-and-click adventure stylings of Lucasarts and DWI but with all the modern sparkle of a bestseller. Moreover, it’s truly innovative, and full of personality – without question, its the best single argument I’ve ever seen that games are a form of art as well as a form of entertainment. Its only flaw – that it can only be seriously played once – is nothing new to genre fans, and though I will never play this game in depth again I unhesitatingly give it 95 golden appl

Hot Like Me

This is why it’s a bad idea to leave the sunday times style supplement in the toilet*. It means I idly flip through it and come across this**:

In a recent survey, girls aged 15-19 were asked which female figures they aspired to emulate: 47% said Abi Titmuss, 33% Jordan, 7% Anita Roddick, 9% JK Rowling and 4% Germaine Greer. When asked their ideal careers, 63% said glamour model, 24% lap dancer, 4% lawyer, 3% doctor, 3% teacher and 2% nurse

Style, December 4, 2005 p13

Now I’m usually the first to remind everyone about the dangers of any paragraph beginning “In a recent survey”, but even though the age range is huge and

Whiny Artistic Type Gets Pretentious

The glass lifts have gone.

Standing at the top of the pavillions shopping mall in central Birmingham, I looked down at the wide white floors which had replaced them, workers still scuttling over them creating room for new designer label fashion stores, probably the kind where there are only three t-shirts in the shop, each one mounted on a white box and priced in the hundreds.

When I was little, the glass lifts were the defining feature of the pavillions – so much so

Light relief

Since there have been a lot of text-heavy, serious sounding posts here lately, I thought it best to lighten the mood by showing the readers of this blog what they really want to see: a crude yet tasteful picture of Jack Bauer as a lesbian. Enjoy!

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