Monthly Archives: December 2006

The End

Well, I had a Christmas treat planned for you but it bombed out! I then planned to make it a new years treat, but no luck. So I’ll present it to you in the next few days, complete with my firm wishes for the happiest of new years unto all of you. My resolutions include updating this blog much more often, but let’s see about that shall we?

All the best for the year ahead,


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Strange winds compel me from the Internet’s shores this Christmas, so I wish you a good one in advance and give you the sweetest of christmas gifts, some new lyrics (to Song fo the Summer)! Join me after I return on the 27th for another special recording bonus I have planned… and bless us every one.

Hey hey hey hey

The past becomes past faster than you’d reasonably think
just electronic washing up in consciousness’ sink
so now we’re sat here punching numbers into cheese which we can’t sell
and we seem to spend so much time trying not to say farewell (farewell)
and like a river or a sunset or something that’s just as trite
the current ebbs and flows and yet you always get the night
and you’re 26% of the reason I’m still here
strumming stupid songs and striving not to sound over sincere

Here we are again
Towns which look the same
Everybody goes
All the same chain stores
Fighting global wars
They don’t give us pause…

In the depths of the old west the used to settle things with guns
We duel with songs and sing along and have just as much fun
so now we’re sat here under starshine and the lights of swooping planes
as they hurtle human beings apart and bring them back again
and it’s a Brownian motion, I guess everyone’s always flowing
and we seem pretty busy for folks who don’t know where we’re going
yet we also aren’t at all, we still have time to twiddle thumbs
a dissolute distraction from diverging purging strums

Bidding you adieu
Filling up bare rooms
Sure we’ll make it through
Period costumes
We’re all saying “I’m
Too fragile for this climb”
But there’s always next time…

Hey hey hey hey

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FaceOmeter Fans, unite against Waterstones

Friends, today Waterstone’s have finally made my list. Replacing the poetry section of their Exeter branch with a Costa outlet was bad, changing all the decor to “disgusting avant-garde books-entriely-incidental white” was worse, but now they’ve really done it.

Increasingly Waterstone’s are pushing out the boat on what bookshops shouldn’t be, and now that King Ludd’s has left it’s the only bookseller in the Exeter city centre (there’s a small Blackwell’s on the university campus) but it was in Birmingham that I today discovered that their new student discount only applies in term time.

Let me just repeat that, because i’m so… angry. The Waterstone’s student discount only applies in term time.

This isn’t me being stingy here – long has it

Let’s Sleigh them

It seems the one defining characteristic of a “family” TV show is that some bastard in the post production office has not only slapped on almost incessant background music but has turned it up so that it’s slightly too loud…

…you’re with me, right? There’s usually some jaunty “comedy” theme with the horns section slightly muffling the actual jokes, some stupid string part undermining any attempts to be vaguely serious. Whether or not you agree that this is a general complaint of “family” shows, it’s certainly what Vadim Jean’s production of Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather for Sky One is blown away by. The move to “familify” is understandable, but quite upsetting when you consider that the pretty much overriding message of the book is that you shouldn’t treat kids like idiots. They don’t need all these musical pointers to be able to figure out that what’s going on is happy, sad, funny, or whatever.

Hogfather was never going to be perfect, of course, but the fact that it’s so bloody close is actually quite annoying. In all respects other than the one mentioned above it shows almost unprescendented fidelity to the book, in fact it may well be guilty of the rare crime of being too dependant on the source text. But I spoke out of turn, of course. The music isn’t there for the kiddies at all, not really. It’s the adults who need help

Hope remains

Some of you may remember my post from a while back about the despicable grammar on birmingham’s tourist information site.

Well, enough of you guys must have sent them e-mails about it (I know Chatwin and I did!), because they’ve got a new site! I haven’t examined it in anything but a superficial manner yet, but it’s already a massive improvement on its ugly precursor. Go Birmingham!

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There are some things which are apparently worthless but which still engulf my entire life. Yet, are not all things ultimately worthless?!


Anyway, I can now do several new ELITE tetris moves, and I challenge ANYBODY to best me?!


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Shock horror

Whoa. That’s quite a headline.

Superheroes are real!

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This is going to be flippant, but I can’t help it

Apparently I’m “pro-choice” because I’m scared of calling myself “Pro-Abortion” because I know deep down that abortion is an EVIL SIN AND I AM SATAN HIMSELFFF AHAHAHAHAHAA

So let’s clear this up:

I am, in fact, pro-abortion.

To return the gesture, let me suggest that these guys call themselves “pro-life” and not “pro-rape-victim-sitting-in-social-services-which-can’t-afford-to-take-care-of-the-miserable-crack-addicted-child-she-doesn’t-want” for similarly aesthetic reasons. The crusades were not remembered for the high regard in which they held human life.


Emergency Bonus Gig

Just a word to the wise of you who aren’t on mofO: a late addition to this season’s gigging calendar will see FaceOmeter down at the Firehouse this evening for some laughs. The night is from eight but I believe FaceOmetric action commences at 10:30. One and all are of course welcome!

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Rock and Roll

“so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others”

Those of you familiar with my stuff may have been a little surprised to find me playing in front of the above quotation, which is from Romans 12, last night. I was a little surprised myself, so as a safeguard against any photos of the event which may turn up when I’m in my forties and trying to make a quick sell off some bootleg albums, I shall explain exactly what went on.

FaceOmeter and Friends were commissioned by Campus Bands president Neil Ogilvie to play a gig for world AIDS day. As far as we knew (and, indeed, as far as he knew) the gig was organised by the university’s Catfish society. In fact, the event was a fundraiser for the charity Christian Aid. From the get-go, the event was characterised by an appaling lack of communication. I gather that Neil, who had offered to lend a hand to what he thought would be a team of people organising the stage, lighting and sound, ended up taking care of the whole of the musical side of the night with the help of only a