Monthly Archives: October 2007

This is what a multi looks like

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Martyr for S Carter

Props to S Carter, who commented as follows in response to an article about the fact that policeman brutally gunned down an electrician because he looked foreign.

It seems that a lot more people die in filthy hospitals under the care of the NHS, than at the hands of the Police. Keep it in perspective.

Yes, S, it’s really us that has the perspective problem, isn’t it? As long as the police kill one fewer per year than the total number of people suffering from fatal diseases in hospitals, the filthy libertarians should keep their filthy, sick pie-holes closed! PS. Ban Video Games

…I’m getting too old for this shit.

(the content of that article is shocking enough – thanks to JC for the tip-off)

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More orthodoxy cleared up

I need to clear up something about “it”. Please note that “loving it” is not necessary to secure the presence of either the vibe OR the drill. Loving it is what will happen WHEN your respect for and knowledge of both drill and vibe have paid dividends.


“It”, in other words, is the target of the religion, the irrepressable excitement that rises up in your heart and lungs when everything is just going really well and, basically, you love it.

Unless it’s said with bile, in which case “it” is the M25. But that’s a completely different “it” and not to be confused with this one.

Oh and then there’s “it” in the sense of “doing it”, which is allied to the “it” that one loves, has nothing to do with the M25 whatsoever, and would take far too long to explain. I don’t think anyone’s figured that “it” out yet. It’s probably the second hardest concept to explain in the universe, after “fass”. Maybe I’ll try one day.


(I’m not saying, by the way, that you don’t need love to get the vibe, or the drill. I’m just saying that you don’t need to love it. Loving it is the point of everything)

Incidentally, here’s a chappy who we should all be listening to. Thanks to Amy for the tip-off.

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Right well Jeff Lewis is STILL simply the best, better than all the rest. But of all the hundreds of billions of times I’ve seen him, that was right up there. Fantastic. Sorry to sound like such a drooling fanboy, but there it is.

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks for an array of different reasons; there’ve been highs and lows, ups and downs, cocktails, near-death experiences, conversational latin, coffees, Philip Pullman, basements, inferior library cards, Walter Pater, the smell of KFC, the taste of Carluccio, empty gigs, full hearts, full brains-

But Jeff Lewis is the great healer. Bring it on, Exeter. It is time.

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Firstly, thanks to Vinay for THIS. It’s a short little flash game which anyone can play and ENJOY. Apparently there are three endings, though I’ve only managed to get one. It was a good one though! Highly recommended.

Those attentive to myspace will have noticed a new gig added. December 4th will find me and my faitful ally Max “It’s in the Sky” Jones at The Hideaway, which is in Archway in North London. You should definitely come. Why? Because you get discounted admission if you bring a TOY INSTRUMENT! Now this is the kind of gig I’m talking about!

Raid your local early learning centre and we’ll see you there!

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If I Had a Calcifer / Things Would Be Different

Shaking Sabres, a song which I’ve been mentioning for a while, is now available on the myspace page. Check it out, and note the appearance of the Hectic Eclectic Folk Choir, credited in full here!

Trivia: the picture that pops up (should pop up) when you listen to this song is more or less of the exact moment the song was initially written! So that’s inspiration you’re looking at. See if you can spot the Vibe in the picture anywhere…

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YouTube can be so cruel sometimes

My username is faceometer if you want to bail me out.

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Deeper we go

At the request of Vincent Ibe himself (see earlier comments), I offer you three fake extracts from the Vible.


1. and lo, the vibe did say “hmm, can we, you know, dim the lights very slightly? ooo, you don’t have dimmers. awkward” 2. and so they went and looked for dimmers 3. but they couldn’t find any 4. but while they were out looking they had a crazy adventure involving a tramp on ecstasy, four cans of carling, a bozouki and an attractive girl aged about 20 who was really into films, and they wrote a song about it 5. and the vibe was well pleased.

“The Return of the Iron Chapter”
8. And the Drill said to the Vibe, “safe” 9. And the vibe was all like “worrrrd”, like, in the drill’s face, you know? 10. but that was okay, because they were mates. 11. and then, up came the Nmountebank 12. “What the hell is going dowwwwwwwwwntown?” inquired the Nmountebank 13. “Who the crutch are you?”, rejoined the other two. 14. “I’m the shiver down your spine on a cold day, and so on” 15. “Well”, said the Drill to the Vibe, privately, “Our Holy Text is only ten minutes old and it’s already pretty fucked”

“In which our heroes encounter a singular experience”
14. who begat Xnsadm, who lived to be 976, 15. who begat Gmblhn, who lived to be 456, 16. who begat 17. “Stop this madness”, cried the VIBE 18. For lo, in he burst, like some metatextual thing 19. “Run in the sand, play with dogs, keep t he beer cold and your beats colder, but keep your love burning hott like FIYAHHH” 20. And so they did.

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“Glop” is not a noise which milk sould ever make

So yeah, I know it’s an aesthetic rather than factual decision, and I wish to interrogate it on aesthetic rather than factual terms… I’m just thinking, Fruit and Nut? I mean, I’m not saying raisins aren’t fruit, but what are the chances of you finding some pineapple in there?

I know, I know. I just think the title raises false expectations! I traced this today as being behind the reason I’ve always felt uneasy about Fruit and Nut. I’m not saying it doesn’t taste good, I’m not saying the title isn’t technically correct, I’m not saying it would need to be if it wasn’t, I’m just saying… what am I saying? I guess I’m saying that if fruit and nut MACHINES only had raisins and hazel nuts we’d all be very rich.


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So once again, while I should be working, I find myself immersed in another MMO. But this one is an indie Flash MMO called Skyrates! RPS readers will already know it but it has a great feel and works off good old fashioned IE-fire and forget gameplay instead of the tradition high graphics grind which MMOing has become recently. It’s early days for me and my character Ginger McBiggles so far, but we’ve already sold some bread and fish, shot down three bastards, and upgraded the engines in our old Junker. Happy times.

In case that wasn’t clear, Skyrates is a game where you pretend to be an air pirate and fly between floating islands in the sky trading, shooting, and being variously awesome. Chillgasmic.

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