Monthly Archives: July 2008

Sounds for All

I know you think that FaceOmeter has forgotten about music, and only churns out cheese travelogues and stupid videos about local delicacies. But occasionally a guitar chord still manages to break through the paraphernalia, and a taster from the new album is now on the Myspace page. The track is called ‘A Strange Visitor’ (the title, but not the story, is taken from a moment in Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic), and it’s a story about a duck that passes in the night.

Here is a picture of a duck, though it is not the one discussed in the song. Do go and have a listen.


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Re: My Last

And have you ever known me to visit a place without sampling its local delicacy?

Yeah I know you have. And don’t worry, I will do so again. BUT NOT THIS TIME:


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I love Pembrokeshire

Anyone who thinks Wales is rubbish is going to have to fight me.


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Things were so incredibly good this time last year

As some of you may know, I have a dark past in data entry and a children’s hospital, so I can attest to the fact that many modern parents give their children distinctly inadvisable names. However, check these ones out. My favourite is “Number 16 Bus Shelter”. There’s a story there…


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The Return

After another week away, and with my last frail hopes of future success dashed against the rocks, the time has come to sit down and really get some serious production of ‘the Irritating Maze’ underway. But not before I sit down here to procrastinate and tell you about my week! Ahaha!

(By the way, it turns out that ‘The Irritating Maze’ is also the title of a 1997 neo geo video game, japanese title Ultra Denryu Iraira Bou)

So it all started in London with the release of The Magic Lantern’s Patriots EP, at which I was honoured to be asked to demonstrate my sub-average skills as a host (the art of a compere is a lost one). I think all who were present would agree that Jamie “Wild Skip” Doe and his team put on a dazzling show, and the CD is also excellent – you should buy a copy (there’s a button on his myspace page).

After some sleep, some chicken air, and the most badass omlette ever created, the Jones and I were out of the door the next day to visit the Jack the Ripper exhibition in Docklands, but we didn’t get far. “Are you Max Jones?”, inquired a passing legend. “I have an enormous package for you”. It turned out to be a gramophone, and we spent the rest of the day listening to 78s and dressed appropriately. Then it was time for tipple with the lads, more chicken air, more omlette, more gramophone, and a welcome sleepy.

The next day we awoke to discover George, and manged freely on a roof sandwich with him. The weather being good, George and I then ventured over Hampstead Heath together discussing literature whilst the Swindler packed off to a Dynamo Garage studio to do mysterious things. After a depressingly long, expensive and unecessary solo expedition to find a compact flash memory card (I’ll tell you that whole story some other time if I have the courage) I returned home in time to soak up some of the BBC’s Bleak House adaptation (brilliant) and meet Lizzie for some hardcore violin sessions. Lizzie came through with honours given how tired she was, and nothing else remained except to sit in the living room at archway inhaling chicken air and playing cheddar gorge with Gaming George

Executive Birmingham

I am now once again, quite officially, a proud resident of the City of Birmingham – a city which, if you believe Microsoft Flight Simulator X, consists entirely of the BT tower, the rotunda, and a two-dimensional carpet of dappled grey and green. This is not an entirely fair representation – there’s also Cadbury World in real life – but it is refreshing to note that Microsoft thought to include Five Ways Tower, the mysteriously empty skyscraper opposite my house, on their blueprints. Whether sitting in its real shadow or illegally racing past its virtual counterpart at 200ft in an F/A-18 I remain struck by what a wonderful place this is, especially now that my room is tooled up with a new duvet and an ultra-stylish office chair which means I can sit at my desk without getting cramps in my ass now.

But wait, there’s more! One of the reasons I’ve been a little slack on the blog lately is because my zone has transformed beyond your wildest dreams – the new purchases I just mentioned are merely the icing on a cake which took about two weeks to bake and involved throwing away about 16 binbags of gcse revision notes and other accumulated crap. In my new chillboudoir, Peeking Duck Studios has come out from its hiding place and now has a bold, tea-lit presence on the desk, and already the consequences are becoming noticeable. There’s a new FaceOmeter song called ‘A Strange Visitor’ which will be appearing on the album and which you’ll be able to hear on myspace quite soon, and I’m working on some other ideas as well.

Speaking of myspace, the page has had a rewrite to match the real-life tidy up, and now contains loads of new wordspeech for your perusal. Sounds will be along presently, and until they arrive I offer you this short video as a cop out:


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How many consecutive blog titles will contain the word ‘Pantis’?

I’ve been doing an ultra move for the last five days, but am now finally back in Birmingham and online. More on everything soon, but meanwhile it’s time for another episode of fOld. fOld is by far the least popular thing I do, so I’ve resorted to that failsafe of every dying televisual franchise, the celebrity guest. Check:


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