Monthly Archives: July 2012

Recipe Time

Perhaps you’ve ever wondered how to cook FaceOmeter and the Dapper Swindler’s ‘Beef and Things Taginealoo’? Fortunately it is our pleasure to reveal the secret recipe for the first time. This recipe was perfected just now in the heartlands of the South Downs, and I particularly like that it’s really simple, quick, cheap, and easy to prepare. It’s only a five-step method, perfect for working mums!!! Enjoy!

You will need:
800g-1kg Lean Beef
500g Shallots
1 Large Onion
2 Tomatoes
3 bulbs Garlic
17 Cloves
Two Veg Stock Cubes
A Beef Stock Cube
Olive Oil
Red Wine
Red Wine Vinegar
Tomato Puree
3tbsp cinnamon
3 springs rosemary
2 nutmegs
Handful of Black Pepper corns
12 bay leaves
Black Pepper
1 packet dried apricots
2 aubergines
2 corgettes
2 large potatoes
8 carrots
2.5tbsp cumin
1.5tbsp turmeric
1.5tbsp dried coriander
1tbsp paprika
10 chopped mint leaves
1tsp dried chilli flakes
5tbsp Yoghurt
Brown rice, washed
700ml water
A splash of Ale

1. Make a Beef Stifado; cook at 130degrees C for five hours.
2. In another pan, fry off about half of the remaining spices with bay leaves until they make a pleasant paste. Add the stifado to the paste along with the vegetables, apricots, some stock, the water, and so on. Put in more spices.
3. Return the contents of the pan to a large casserole dish. Place in the slow oven of an aga and leave for twelve hours.
4. Scrape blackened contents of casserole dish into large saucepan: add ale, wine, more water. Simmer on a very low heat for two hours.
5. Move to a moderate heat, bubble for 45 minutes, and serve over rice with a dollop of yoghurt.


NB. We did actually do this

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Casa di Elgar

Early morning of day 2 in Elgar’s house, an absurd tumbledown high-ceilinged studio with many a nook and cranny secreted somewhere inside an enormous shrub in the south downs. An aga in the kitchen, a ping-pong table in the rec room, and a £20 note bearing the face of the man himself (his moustache makes forgery harder, apparently*) in a small glass case beside my bed. Yesterday was successful: worked all day on a new tune called ‘Summerhouse’, which I’m pretty happy with. I haven’t done a song-in-a-day since ‘OK, so that happened’ in 2009, and this really did come out of nowhere – I had a hummed melody for it (which I sang into my phone last week, walking down to Shepherd’s Bush after being inspired at a Kimya Dawson concert) but the rest all happened between 8:30am and 7:30pm. It’s a good feeling. Then The Dapper Swindler turned up, hitting the studio like some kind of industrial hammer. We jumped repeatedly off a small trampoline into a pile of exercise cushions, and then wrote another new song from scratch. This is a very slightly sillier number called ‘Sebastian and the Snickers’. Hard to imagine that today could equal yesterday in terms of productivity, especially with so much countryside still unexplored around here. But as I type, everyone else is still asleep and the day fizzes with potential. Let’s see what it brings…

*this is awesome, but also apparently oft cited as a reason not to put women on banknotes, so I’m conflicted.

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