Happy Shrove, everyone! I’ve been making a stupid video every Shrove since 2008, and I’m sure this year will be no exception. Whilst I ready myself, though, perhaps you’d like to enjoy my first ever Shrove video from all those years back. Though slightly dated in its style, this is a recipe I stick by, even though following it would now result in days of protracted illness and pain! And the Derridean binaries rule remains as true of toppings now as it was then. FIVE YEARS AGO, deuds!
I’m on the verge of a return from my extended travels in foreign climes, which have culminated in a week spent being as American as possible in the Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina. Perhaps you disbelieve that I, whose dependence on the regular provision of tea (I have confirmed this trip) is at neo-crack levels, am capable of being authentically American? THINK AGAIN, FOOL! Here’s a selection of my recent activities:
- Bowling at a bowling alley which had the Stars and Stripes hanging sincerely over the pins.
- Eating intense quantities of chipotle blueberry ribs and grits at a barbecue place patronised BY OBAMA HIMSELF.
- Watching the Super Bowl whilst eating tortilla chips with a dip constructed around the concept of microwaving cream cheese.
- Attending a screening of the 1955 film Tarantula in an old cinema with big sofas, a romantic interest, and a basket of cheesy fries in which the cheese:fries ratio was about 6:1.
- Stopping off in an otherwise deserted late night Denny’s in which the waitress had a radio mic strapped to her head for no discernible reason.
- Attending three separate bluegrass events.
- Extended visits to the following things: Wal-mart, a large mall, a creepy forest. A significantly briefer visit to a place called Lincolnton (fun to say out loud) in which I actually did that thing where I walked in and everyone stopped their conversations and looked at me (I was naked at the time) (not really).
Can you feel the feathery wingbeats of those free, free, eagles? I certainly can! I’m sure this has all been artistically stimulating or whatever, and will be reporting on recent musical developments and plans upon returning to the motherland. England ho!