Another rant

I saw the intro sequence for a show called Last Choir Standing today. Here it is, in all its pathetic splendour.

I renounced the humble TV a few years ago because I couldn’t be arsed to pay a license fee when I can just rent DVDs of my favourite shows and then not watch adverts for injurylawyers4u (“100% lawyers, 100% compensation”) (yes, that’s a real one) (yes, that’s their actual slogan), and it’s always rewarding to have a decision vindicated. TV sucks, and reality TV is the worst of it, and the people who made it are probably very ugly and probably FANCY THEIR MUMS.

So with that off my chest, let’s talk about Last Choir Standing, the BBC’s attempt to rope the radio 4 audience in to the sort of music-as-sport extravaganza where there are winners and losers instead of art, and twenty second pauses loaded with an absense of emotion before the reading of each result. Of course, the show may well not be any of these things (although you know perfectly well that it is) because I didn’t actually watch any of it – God no, why would I put myself through that? I’ve still only seen two minutes of Big Brother, which is in itself a modest achievment.

I’m not cherishing ignorance, you understand, just cherishing the fact that when I chose to waste humungous amounts of time in front of the Z-Box, I’m at least watching something good (more on last week’s Lethal Weapon marathon soon). What’s that you say? It’s unfair to judge a program without watching it in full? Well you’re quite right. And while you’re off watching everything that has ever been made, ever, I’ll stick the kettle on. Fiver says you find a better show in the first day. Elitist, you call my opinions? No. Patronising the general public by assuming that this shit is the best they deserve is elitist, you arse. Contemplate THAT while your next compensation ad is on mute.

I’m aware that there’s some tension between my mention of compensation ads and the fact that Last Choir Standing is a BBC program. The BBC is a fantastic institution which has never yet shown me a compensation advert, and it has my full respect for that. Now, move all your good programs off BBC4 at midnight and put them somewhere where people who aren’t looking for them might see them.

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