NB. I SAY FAKE BECAUSE THERE IS NO VIBLE, OUR SECULAR ORTHODOXY IS VERY SELF-CONCSIOUSLY FOUNDED UPON AN ORAL TRADITION IN ORDER TO PREVENT JIHADS IN 2,000 YEARS. THANK YOU
1. and lo, the vibe did say “hmm, can we, you know, dim the lights very slightly? ooo, you don’t have dimmers. awkward” 2. and so they went and looked for dimmers 3. but they couldn’t find any 4. but while they were out looking they had a crazy adventure involving a tramp on ecstasy, four cans of carling, a bozouki and an attractive girl aged about 20 who was really into films, and they wrote a song about it 5. and the vibe was well pleased.
“The Return of the Iron Chapter”
8. And the Drill said to the Vibe, “safe” 9. And the vibe was all like “worrrrd”, like, in the drill’s face, you know? 10. but that was okay, because they were mates. 11. and then, up came the Nmountebank 12. “What the hell is going dowwwwwwwwwntown?” inquired the Nmountebank 13. “Who the crutch are you?”, rejoined the other two. 14. “I’m the shiver down your spine on a cold day, and so on” 15. “Well”, said the Drill to the Vibe, privately, “Our Holy Text is only ten minutes old and it’s already pretty fucked”
“In which our heroes encounter a singular experience”
14. who begat Xnsadm, who lived to be 976, 15. who begat Gmblhn, who lived to be 456, 16. who begat 17. “Stop this madness”, cried the VIBE 18. For lo, in he burst, like some metatextual thing 19. “Run in the sand, play with dogs, keep t he beer cold and your beats colder, but keep your love burning hott like FIYAHHH” 20. And so they did.