That’s right, folks!!!!!!111 We’re freshly returned from Coventry! City of Kings! Here’s what went down (photos will be added discretely at a later date edit: photos have been discretely added at a later date).
7:00 A nice, refreshing bowl of chilli at my house sees the journey on a start. “As mapreader, you have two jobs”, I tell the Jones. “One is to feed me stupid amounts of these delightful Cadbury’s Shortcake biscuits. The other is probably less significant”.
7:05 I bugger up a junction. “You swindler”, says the Jones, selecting a playlist of “stuff I don’t think you’ve heard for ages”.
7:25 “Is there a Coventry accent?”, asks the Jones. “I don’t think so”, I reply. “I think it got bombed in WW2”
7:30 We rock up to the Coventy. “Oh my God”, says the Jones.
7:31 I park in a big, safe, warm car park. “Don’t park here!”, cries Jones. “I just pulled a face at that guy because he was wearing about six tracksuits and theyre going to rinse us the second we step outside” We sneak out by a back exit and crawl up a “dreadly” street beneath some signs that remind me of being little, but in the bad way. Max speculates that this could all be part of the plan of the guys around the front, who are communicating with even nastier types using tiny radios. It’s not often that I am the comfier one in these situations.
7:35 We turn a corner into what we had assumed would be a dead end made of concrete full of “youths” who we’d have to run away from and find ourselves in a quaint C15th street full of bookshops and pubs with names like “the shakespeare”. I sucessfully pretend for about a minute that I knew this was going to happen (“Aha, you see the Jones, I know the score, Coventry like the back of my hand, &c. &c.”) but eventually we’re both so overwhelmed by the experience that we walk back to the concrete carpark and back again so we can enjoy it a second time. Life is all about enjoying these moments.
7:40 I think a girl checks me out at a cash machine. Jones reckons she definitely did. Both of us thought her friend was hotter.
7:45 Max gets a nice, slow pint of the Guiness going in a pub which turns out not to be, as we had initially suspected (nay, been told by the internet) the venue for the gig.
8:00 A hasty trip across historic coventry. The sign actually said “Historic Coventry”. It didn’t add “…was flattened in WW2” or anything. Eventually we find ourselves in a nice little venue near some canals. During the course of this journey I only fear for my life about three times, so things are going swimmingly.
10:00 After some hours of chillaxing, a support band. Brer Brian comes and asks us to give two girls a lift back to Birmingham. We gladly accept (they later completely vanish; I hope they’re okay and/or weren’t so terrified at the prospect of riding in a car with us that they immediately called a taxi)
10:45 The New York Howl are very good! Shame about the sound and shit crowd. Some of